The Request Box Problem

It all started in April of 2005. Jonny and Alex were baffled by the deluge of spoof requests for airplay on Kooba Radio. Someone was submitting hundreds of fake bands with fake song names through the website’s Request Box. It was becoming a problem!

Luckily, they found it amusing and it became a staple part of the show. Listeners would tune in each week to hear Jonny and the others read out requests like…

Christmas Dribble – Chickenfucker
Myra Hindley – She Was A Backseat Driver
Forgetting Who I’ve Slept With – She Meant My Sister
Turding On Cinerella – Why My Dog Didnt Do Barbie
Cat Litter Tray – Oven Baked Lasagne
Felatio For Desmond – Slipping Standards
Horse Pipes – Wanking In The Mirror
Shitting Biscuits – Ten Ton Bastard

The man responsible had now been dubbed “The Request Box Problem” or “RBP” for short. After a while RBP ran out of steam so he turned to other ways of tormenting the good people of Kooba. Here’s a example of the creepy stuff that he started sending…

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Chilling.

So, more and more of these sound files arrived and we began to accuse various listeners, Kooba contributors and members of bands of being RBP. The list of accused was long but we were wrong every time.

Eventually Alex invited RBP (by email) to the 100th show. Alex then received the following scary serial-killer-style postcard.

On the day of the 100th show we were worried that RBP wasn’t present among the members of the audience. Then, little post-it notes started appearing in strange places. The posted notes had “RBP” written on them.

Here’s a scan from some toilet roll in the studio bathroom.

There was an RBP post-it on every third Sheet!

So, finally the suspects were all in one room. There now follows a clip from this fateful show. It includes a re-cap of the request box problem, some accusations and then the moment when The Request Box Problem revealed himself!

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The Request Box Problem himself

It was none other than Jonny’s own house mate Gareth. He had moved into the house after starting his terror campaign solely to make his final reveal all the more dramatic.

So that was the end of the saga. It is now several years on. Both Jonny and Alex consider Gareth to be one of their closest and most trusted friends. It is a friendship that grew out of a sustained and bizzare practical joke, born in the mind of The Request Box Problem. The story continues…